The Alt Black

I often ask myself why I have such great taste in music. Also, how can that be validated? Does it need to be? I like the songs I like and go from there. Music is made to evoke feeling! And feel I do! This past year gave me some of my favorite albums. Each one is unique in its delivery, sound, and impact. My top albums from 2022 were Mr. Morale and The Big Steppers by Grammy-award-winning rapper Kendrick Lamar. Special, by Grammy-award-winning singer Lizzo. Finally, SOS by Grammy-award winner singer SZA. In my opinion, these three albums were game-changers. Each is unapologetic in their delivery and takes the listener on a powerful journey. I’ll take you through my journey for each album.

Kendrick Lamar is by far one of the most talented artists of all time. Since his debut album Section.80 Kendrick has demonstrated his versatility and wordplay. Kendrick’s rap style comes off as conversational & informative. Listening to Kendrick feels like watching you’re watching a play. Each bar, lyric, and switch of flow gives the listener a rich experience for their ears. His music is unapologetically black, and his message is undeniably delivered with precision.

Kendrick’s latest album, Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers is a dynamic 19-track album that takes the listener on a thought-provoking journey. As the album opens you hear United in Grief, a haunting yet theatrical song. As a voice sings, “I hope you find some piece of mind in this lifetime.” Followed by a stern voice that repeatedly says, “Tell them, Tell them, TELL THEM YOUR-. As the original voice hauntingly sings” I hope you find some paradise.” All the while, you can hear a tapping in the distance, almost as if a pen is tapping on a notepad. As the pressure builds, you can tell that these words have been yearning to be released from his mind. Under 30 seconds into the album, Kendrick has placed you into the most intimate part of his mind.

Immediately you’re aware that this isn’t a ubiquitous hip-hop album. The composition of the music is unlike what we’ve heard from Kendrick to date. Switching between elements of classical, musical theater, voiceovers, and rhythms Kendrick displays his mastery of storytelling. By using a variety of flows and tones, Kendrick instills a sense of panic, enlightenment, and pain. Most notable is his song Auntie Diaries, Father Time, and Mother I Sober.

Auntie Diaries is the sixth song on the second half of the album. The song starts with an upbeat instrumental, while you hear “heart plays in ways the mind can’t figure out.” Followed by a voice stoically stating, “This is how we conceptualize human beings.” Suddenly there is a shift from an upbeat sound to a slower sound and a consistent beat with various sound effects. Kendricks releases a heartfelt message. “My Auntie is a man now, ” states Kendrick matter-of-factly. I was floored, from that point on. I have never heard that from any artist. As the song progresses Kendrick details his experience growing up with his aunt. He details her characteristics and his experience with her since he was a child. Noting that she would drink Paul Masson with her hat turned backward. Blue Air Max’s gold chains, and curl kits. This was someone that Kendrick heavily admired growing up. He notes that he hoped she would pick him up from school and that she was his introduction to rap music. He loved her without a second thought.

Throughout the song, Kendrick shares times that also confused him by other people’s reactions to his aunt. Sharing a time, he asked his mother why his uncles don’t like him and why they always fight at parties. His mother told him people have always been jealous because he got more money and attention, and that made others envious of him. He continues to share his observations as he shares a memory from elementary school. Children would be confused seeing his aunt’s characteristics and would call her gay. Kendrick insisted that his aunt was gay because she ate pussy and that was the difference.

Throughout the song, Kendrick switches between he and she pronouns to show his confusion and process of trying to understand his beloved aunt. Throughout the song, Kendrick shares he’s old enough to understand his aunt now. Even apologizing for using homophobic slurs as a child on the playground. “My auntie was a man now, we cool with it, ” states Kendrick before dropping another story on us. “Demetrius is Mary-Ann now”, he says in a calm tone. Kendrick dives into sharing his family’s reaction to his cousin transitioning. Noting that his family is in disbelief this time as they try to convince themselves that they didn’t see the signs. Kendrick shares that this is his favorite cousin and that throughout his childhood he noticed that Demetrius was different. He recalls his cousin playing with Barbie dolls, being distant, and not laughing when they’d use homophobic slurs. Being aware of his differences, Kendrick still was mindful of his cousin and loved him. He also shares that as time has progressed that he and his cousin had drifted apart. That after his gender-affirming surgery, everything Kendrick said was offensive. Kendrick struggles to understand his cousin, remembering that they both had a sick sense of humor as kids. But time has changed the way Mary-Ann looks at the world.

You’ll notice that during this part of the song a voice quietly drones in the back adding a layer of intensity. It feels like being inside a pressure cooker inside of Kendrick’s mind as he is processing his relationships with family, societal constructs, and his own perspective of right and wrong. As the voice becomes increasingly more present, we are transported to another memory. Kendrick begins detailing his experience during an Easter Sunday service with his family. Sitting in the same pew as his cousin, he recalls the pastor calling his cousin and Aunt an abomination. Kendrick struggles to understand his pastor’s words, recanting that his cousin’s belief was stronger than most. It is important to notice the shift in sound during this part of the song. Kendrick’s voice changes from a calm unassured tone to one of confidence and self-assured. Unable to sit in his seat, Kendrick boldly stands up to question the pastor during the sermon. “Mr. Preacher Man, should we love thy neighbor?” “The law of the land or the heart, what’s greater?” Fully understanding his wrongs, Kendrick takes this opportunity in the song to properly gender his cousin for the first time in the song.

Kendrick’s outburst triggered a response from others in the building to begin thinking about their own biases and hypocritical nature. Kendrick boldly states that she and I have had the same teaching from birth, but you aren’t extending the same message to her. It was this act that began to mend the relationship with Mary-Ann. Mary-Ann smiled and thanked Kendrick for his bravery and Kendrick apologized for his homophobic statements in the past. He shares that he wasn’t taught that words were more than a sound. Just things to say, that doesn’t mean much. It is during this exchange that Kendrick’s cousin reminds him of an incident where he brought a fan on stage during a show. During this show, Kendrick brought a white fan to rap with him. The fan said the n-word during the song which prompted Kendrick to cut the music. Mary-Ann tells Kendrick that you can say f*, but only if he allows a white girl to say N. The song ends abruptly, conveying a profound moment of thought on Kendrick’s behalf.

Mr. Morale and The Big Steppers is a complex piece of work that cannot be listened to once and forgotten. The album feels like being inside a therapy session. You can feel the unease, uncomfortably, and pain he goes through to grow to a new understanding of life. He details seeing his mother abused, his cousin’s success in the industry, allegations of molestation, the impact of slavery, and so much more. I recall my first time listening to the album. I couldn’t help but cry along to the songs, rejoice in his understanding, and feel compelled to question everything I had been taught. The album rightfully won three Grammys in 2023. Best Rap album, best rap song, and best rap performance. I’d encourage everyone to listen to this album and use it as a tool to critically think about their relationship with society.